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my idea for a yugioh fanfic

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Post by Dullahan Fri Dec 19, 2014 11:02 am

So this is how my fanfic would basically run: some robbers stole the 3 Legendary Planet cards (Beautiful Venus/Big Saturn/Tyrant Neptune) from a powerful business CEO, and he hires 5 "hunters" to work as a team to retrieve them back (each of these hunters would use a Hidden Arsenal archetype: Gishki (leader); Flamvell (big guy); Naturia (chick); Gusto (smart guy); and Fabled(lancer))

Later on the first Planet Card (Saturn) gets seized, and one of the robbers (who has Neptune) fears the hunters might come for him next. So, he hires an "Anti-Huntress" (Who uses Dark World w/Dark Highlander as ace; also she almost looks like Fem-Shun Kurosaki, with Yuto's mask and goggles; and this being 5D's era-based I thought Highlander as an appropriate anti to the decks above) to put the hunters out of commission by sealing their souls into cards. The huntress takes out 4 of the 5 hunters without much of a sweat.

Then come the Protagonist (who uses Gishki). The first duel between them is pretty even-matched, with the protag just barely winning. Then the huntress urgently calls off the duel and surrenders, disappearing

Some time passes, and the protag decides to visit his friends bodies at the hospital. He then meets the Huntress, gazing intently into the delivery room. She notices him, and calls for a temporary truce, as she tells him the real reason she's hunting his group- her baby was diagnosed with an unknown illness, and she was wanting to raise money to pay for her baby's study and treatment. Before she leaves, she tells him she still intends to hunt him, as she promised her employer she'd take out all 5 hunters for the research money.

The next time they do duel, both with unfavorable odds- if he loses, he'll lose his soul; but if the huntress loses, she'll not only lose the money for the research, but also her son's life. The huntress fought desperately to win, and the protag (being the stoic and calculative type, yet understanding of her pain) could only come up with one outcome for her- "Just let her son go."

Outraged, the young mother refuses to follow his advice, but the protag empathetically reminded her: "Would you rather have him die in your arms, or in a study that might not even turn out as fruitful as you thought?"

I'm still trying to figure out a satisfying conclusion to the story.  what you guys think? I came up with at least the last half in my sleep, and I couldn't stop crying.
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Post by Decade Fri Dec 19, 2014 5:06 pm

It sounds interesting. Could use some work and not seem cliche in some parts, no offense, such as defeating all but 1 hunter without a sweat, which to me sounds like bs. But if you fix it up and try to do some stuff, it can work.
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Post by Dullahan Fri Dec 19, 2014 5:15 pm

In my defense, this is a yugioh fic; they practically run on bs. And yeah, I guess it is cliche now that you mention it, though I thought it was justified, seeing 4 of the 5 hunter's archetypes are basically dependable on synchro summons, and the huntress's ace Dark Highlander outright prevents synchros, as to why she only had a considerable struggle with the Gishki user.
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Post by Dullahan Sat Dec 20, 2014 10:04 pm

I just hope this won't turn into some kind of emo sob story if I write it. I think it deserves more respect than that.
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Post by johners12345 Sun Dec 21, 2014 10:36 am

I like it.. So sad though Sad
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Post by Dullahan Sun Dec 21, 2014 5:53 pm

It was even better in my head. It emotionally tore me apart.
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