Conflict at the Research Center. The Abyss, the Wind, the Shadow, and the Phoenix

[These thoughts and post take place after a chatbox session involving Tsukiko, Hibiki, Cara, and Carmine]

"You're not going down there. Did you see how deep that hole was!?

"Of course I saw how deep it was...."

"Do you wanna just die for your god damn white knight complex!? Do you?!"

"This has nothing to do with that...."

"Carmine is gone..but you saw her with that bird thing! She's going to be fine. You on the other hand can't survive a drop like that!"

"You don't know that...."

"You think he has the energy to drop you down that much? Stop trying to use us to go after your crusade to help everyone and everything!"

"....I wasn't using you guys..."

Tsukiko remained in place, unmoving and silent, as his gaze simply focused on the pile of debris covering the hole Carmine had fell through. It had barley been two minutes, but for him, it felt like two hours.

How...how did it go wrong?

Carmine was gone, lost into some dark pit within the research center, with him having no way of knowing if she was okay or not. Cara had slapped him, apparently out of anger at him putting himself at risk and had run off, and Hibiki had chased after her. And here he was, all alone unsure of what to do.

Why? Why was it wrong for him to try and save her?

So what if he got hurt? Carmine was in trouble. He had seen her face before it had faded into the dark. She was terrified. Her expression said it all, she was scared of being separated from them. She was scared of possibly losing her life. She was scared of whatever she might have to face down there by herself.

"How could I just sit back and do nothing?"

What if Carmine was hurt down there? What if she was trapped and had no way out? What if another one of those 'things' was down there waiting for its' next prey!? Would she be able to fight it? Would she be safe!?

Why was it wrong to help someone? Why was it wrong to try and save someone who was in trouble and needed help?

Why was that wrong!?

Tsukiko's eyes snapped open as they turned to his coat pocket.

That feeling again.

Reaching inside Tsukiko pulled out the cat-eyed orb again Mari-san had given him. It was pulsing again. It had done so when Cara had gotten furious at him, but he didn't care at the time.

But here it was again, pulsing, as if reacting to how Cara's words and actions had affected him. Tsukiko remembered how Mari-san had told him it was sealing away the inner turmoil and pain the damn monster had inflicted upon Cara. But that over time, it would slowly build and grow in strength, trying to break out, and if not given after the test was finished, would be much worse than what had happened before.

Was it reacting because of how angry Cara had gotten? Because of how she yelled and slapped him? If it was, then it most likely was trying to feed off her anger to grow stronger, to try and break free.

Tsukiko clenches his hand around the orb tightly. As if he didn't have enough to worry about, he still needed to decide what to do with this thing. Mari-san had told him to return it to Cara after the test, but what would that do to her? Cara was happier and calmer than before this thing had been removed from her. Would she return back to the state the monster had put her in if he did?

He didn't know! He didn't know dammit!!

Go after Cara? Try to save Carmine? Give the orb or not?

What was he supposed to do!?

"You know... you remind me of him."

"You must not falter from your solidarity, Mr. Knight. She is not the only one at risk here."

"Do you wanna just die for your god damn white knight complex!? Do you?!"

Tsukiko's eyes closed shut as his grip tightened on the orb.

"So you're a knight then huh?"

Tsukiko's eyes suddenly shot open.

"Huh? Where the hell did that come from?"

"But it's true right? You travel around, helping the poor and needy, keeping the peace and protecting the innocent. It's like a knight in those old tales you hear!"

Tsukiko laughed, "I think you're exaggerating a bit don't you? I'm not some paladin or symbol of hope, I'm just a guy trying to survive in the world. I don't go around saving damsels or fighting evil. I just do what I can when I can to help others. Anybody can do that."

"But not everybody does," a feminine figure turns and smiles, "You however, you're bound by this so called 'curse' of yours, yet you still try to help others despite keeping a distance. Not many would do that you know. And don't give me that excuse of, 'I was raised to be that way'. Being raised is one thing, following through is another entirely. And to me, it seems like you took this journey because you wanted to help right? Because you wanted to protect people and keep safe the ones you loved. But over time, those feelings grew, and before you knew it, it shifted from helping those you loved, to also helping others in need. Because deep down, without realizing it yourself, you knew in your heart that it was the right thing to do."

Tsukiko's eyes stared widely as his mouth hung slightly. A slight red tinted his cheeks as he looked away embarrassed and hesitant.

"That's...", Tsukiko paused unsure of how to reply, "I just try to do what's right is all. There's nothing special about that."

"But does that mean I'm wrong?"

Tsukiko remained silent, hesitant on how to answer. The figure seeing this, sighed before smiling. Standing up the figure walks towards Tsukiko and stops in front of him, before patting his head.

"Not one person can be a hero Tsukiko-kun, not even you. But that doesn't mean what you're doing is wrong, it's the opposite in fact. Sure at times people may disagree or even go against your feelings, but as long as you know deep down what you believe in is true, then no matter what, you'll always find the answer you seek."

Tsukiko looked up as the figure smiled softly.

"But please, do make sure you don't hurt yourself as well okay? I don't want to one day wake up and hear that you got yourself killed. After all, saving someone and helping them is a wonderful thing, but it should not ever be worth the pain and suffering it causes your loved ones."

"But...what if the one I'm saving is you?"

The figure seems to pause before giggling and pulling its' hand away.

"Well....then I suppose I'll just have to make sure you don't die on me won't I? Tsukiko-kun."

"Elizabeth-san...

"....."

Tsukiko's eyes remained calmly shut as the orb seemed to stop pulsing. Slowly he places the orb back in his coat pocket and remains quiet.

That's right.

He wasn't a knight like everyone kept calling. He wasn't trying to be a hero or some damn paladin, he was just trying to do what was right. Trying to help those he could because he couldn't stand by and watch them suffer or be hurt.

And right now he had hurt his own teammate. Someone who wasn't trying to say it was wrong to help, but didn't want him to get hurt either. Someone who didn't want to see him sacrifice himself because they were scared.

It was why Cara's slap hadn't set off his 'curse'. She wasn't trying to hurt him. She was trying to help him. And not just her either, Hibiki too. They both didn't want to see him hurt, and were both trying to stop him from being an idiot because they wanted to help.

Because they were teammates. Partners.

And partners watch out and help each other together, not one person alone.

"I'm an idiot."

Tsukiko opens his eyes as he looks back at the filled hole.

"Gomen Carmine....just wait a little longer okay? I need to go do something first. But I promise we'll be back for you as soon as we can. After all, you still need to fix the problems with your own precious people, and I did promise to aid in that didn't I?."

Tsukiko turned towards the path his teammates had run down. Looking back once more at the hole he closes his eyes and turns back.

"And I keep my promises dammit."

With that, Tsukiko's eyes snapped open, his expression focused, as he shoots down the path his teammates had disappeared into.

He had an apology to make.